So today I found myself sitting on the couch and seriously searching for the best breast pump and comparing every brands I see.. I am currently liking haakaa coz it seems so simple to use and very convenient.. I even followed IG accounts for maternity and breastfeeding essentials coz I got so hooked and excited.. I’ve seen so many stuff that makes nursing so much easier.. I’ve seen this noise cancellation gadgets, baby montitors, prenatal education system, nursing bras, and maternity dresses!

After an hour or so of searching, I realized..

I AM NOT PREGNANT..

And all the anticipation vanished.. just like that..

We’re almost 2 yrs married now and we’re still trying.. I know a lot of you guys are ttc longer than we are, I hope you can understand my sentiments.. A lot of my friends just got married and are pregnant now.. 90% of my fb accnt shows baby bump photos, ultrasound photos, gender reveal and baby showers, giving birth posts, family photos etc.. I am happy for all of them no doubt about that.. But sometimes I just find myself getting frustrated and jealous (which I know is bad..) so I try to be positive.. But sometimes, it just hits me so hard, like now, and it’s my first time to write an emotional post like this since I don’t really have an outlet.. Sometimes i feel like deactivating my fb just so to not feel frustrated or stressed or whatever.. I dont want people to know and worry about me and to keep on asking me.. I’m okay really, maybe there are just times when your hormones make you feel this way...