Living near military base and dating?

Question

Sooo as graduation approaches in less than a month I am looking at careers and I have no intent to stay around my hometown.  I am looking at jobs in Tennessee, specifically Nashville but I also would like to eventually work at a VA.. it's my dream job. My own selfish reasons for moving here are I just love military men. I envision my life being like American Sniper, just going to the bar and a hot military guy chatting me up and being interested in me and not sex lol but I have friends who I have talked about this to and they said not to live near a base because it's just not a good place to live and all the guys will likely try to hook up and I don't want to do that so it would be pointless. Now I'm freaking out because I applied to a few jobs near bases.  Idk if im being unrealistic or if living near a base will prove to lead me to my dream!? Any opinions?

Answer

They have a specific name for women like you: "tag chaser". It's ridiculous you are basing your entire life off of some military spouse fairy tale. I'm a military spouse, and honey, I wish everyday my husband had a different career, because it is hella difficult (but I'll stick through because I love him).

Guys on base think tag chasers are ridiculous and usually will play them until they get them in bed and then drop them like a hot potato once the deed is done.

Stop being so desperate for a specific type of man. Get your own life together and find a man you like for who he is and not WHAT he is.

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I don't think you should focus on dating someone solely based on what they do for a living. Being a military spouse isn't a fairytale and it's definitely not easy....

Answer

You're being unrealistic. Military bases are typically in shitty locations, away from city centers and often in low income areas. An example is the current one that I work at and live by.

On top of that, military men (the ones that you're talking about that go to bars and chat up women) will typically just want to hook up, not marry you and have your babies in the next year (as you've previously posted). The ones that do marry quickly usually do it for money, and in five years are generally all divorced.

Good luck, but don't get your hopes too high.

Answer

You are so clueless it's terrifying. You make literally hundreds of posts talking about how you can't live without a guy and then think you can hack military life? You can't. I promise you, you won't last a year. You'll be the spouse who's got Jody in her bed every time her husband leaves or the spouse calling command and threatening to kill yourself because you just can't stand to be without him. Your "researching"  means absolutely nothing, it cannot even begin to tell you what being military or being married to military is like. I've done both and you are the type of female guys screw in the dorms and then laugh about at work. Please do the military a favor and leave them alone, we don't need any more women like you roaming the bases!

Answer

My husband and I are both veterans  (13 years combined) and I have to say your friend is right. Most of the military men are snobs and players. However, there are a FEW good ones mixed into the bunch. If you do decide to follow through with your plan/dream then think about this:

Being a military spouce is EXTREMELY difficult if you are not military as well. Army soldiers only get stationed at a base for 12 months then they get new orders to either deploy for 12 months or they can ask to stay put. Navy can be deployed for 3-15 months.

We both have sooo many friends that have met, married, then divorced after only a few years. Soldiers also have one of the highest divorce rates.

Not all soldiers are bad news. If you do find a good one make sure your involved as much as you possibly can be so that when he is having a rough day you can truly understand him. Military-civilian couples need to have a special special bond in order to make it because it's a tough life. You need to be willing to move when he comes down on orders. My husband never stayed in one place for more than 12 months until he got to NC where he finally got released, he served 9.5 years total.

Be prepared for anything! Certain schools/training is out of state so if he decided to do something special he might have to leave you for a while. And if your preggo he won't necessarily be there for the delivery. Tons of soldiers miss the births of their kids.

I'm not trying to scare you. I just want you to understand being a military wife when you've never served can be difficult.

Good luck to you.

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Just don't have sex with everyone lol lots of people live near bases and are just normal civilians

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My father was in the military so I grew up in military towns and still live in one now. Your movie fantasy life is just that, a fantasy. You're going to be sorely disappointed if you expect any of that just because you live in a military town. Half the time it's a butt load of immature guys fresh out of mommy and daddy's house running around doing reckless and dangerous things and even more immature girls chasing after them cause they gotta get that tricare. And don't forget the dependa's that are literally EVERYWHERE throwing their husbands rank around like anyone gives two shits just because they want special treatment. And the ever present snotty officer wives who expect you to lick their toes cause that landed a boot lieutenant. There definitely is perks to living in a military town and to the life itself but you just need a reality check.

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You're going to find mostly hipsters and tourists that are ready to drink until they passout on broadway in nashville. And the traffic is impossible. And tourists in cowboy boots, huge belt buckles, and cowboy hats :P gross

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I read this post to my husband (who JUST got done serving active duty for the Army!!!😃) and he just let out a big laugh at the "going to the bar and a hot military guy chatting me up and being interested in me and not sex" part 😂😂😂...most of the guys will be horny young bachelors fresh outta high school who are cocky enough to think they can get any girl they want all bc of the uniform. Don't be that girl 😂

Answer

I would really think long and hard about your "dream". American sniper is a movie. Close to no relationships are really like that. And it's by far a dream. Being away from your SO for long periods of time are no joke it's hard. Moving away from your family and friends. Having to move ever couple years. Never know when they have to leave or come back. Or them being told only a week in advance they are deploying. Worrying about them 24/7 when they are gone. They will birthdays, anniversaries, births, and any moment in between. I'm not saying it's not worth it cause love is a powerful thing but I wouldn't go searching for it. My husband joined in high school a year after we started dating. I can't wait to go back to civilian life.

Living near military base and dating?

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