Hurt sad depressed and pregnant

Anyone ever wished they could just erase a huge huge part of their lives as I do. I've made some pretty biiig bad choices in my life. Here I am sat here on what's meant to be a good happy day feeling so so so low depressed close to tears all I've done is scrub n clean to try cheer snap me out of it but I feel so low and so alone right now....be it pregnancy hormone or just out right depression returned with a vengeance I can just see today getting a whole lot worse...might just lock myself away.