need some help, is it rape?

Question

I'm so confused. I went out clubbing with a group of people, was keen on one guy for a few days and we had a make out sesh at the club. I only had 3 drinks and I don't remember much at all. I remember him taking me to the bar to get me another drink and I feel like I was drugged that night. He seems so harmless and so nice, I do remember him asking if I wanted to have sex and I said no. But then he went down on me and fingered me, and I was enjoying it. But he never asked and I never said yes. 
 
I feel so sketchy and off. I know I was the one drinking but I woke up naked in his bed. I'm pretty certain we didn't have sex because I'm usually sore afterwards and I feel fine down there. I just don't know what this means & I need some help figuring it out. I asked him what happened and he said we fooled around for 10 minutes and then went to sleep. 
 
The next day I went to collect my underwear because I couldn't find it and he pushed me down into the bed and stuck his hands down my pants and tried to finger me. I had to force him off me and then he apologised later over Facebook saying he was still drunk. I feel so weird and I can't tell anyone face to face or anyone I know, so I guess I needed to vent and hear what anyone has to say. I don't know how to bring it up to him & I'll never see him again because we live in different countries, I just don't know what's going on and why I feel so off

Answer

Steer clear of that dude from now on. And as a safety get checked out at the docs for stds you'll feel better knowing for sure.

Answer

That's so so awful. He didn't have your consent and that wasn't right

Answer

If at any point you said no, he should have stopped, even if you guys didn't have sex. If he didn't have consent then, he may not think he needs any later on. So I would stay away from him. Also you should contact a doctor just in case

Answer

Yeah, that would be considered rape. I think the best think to try to do is like accept that, and when you feel like you're ready, confront him. When you said no and he kept going, that crossed the line. Even if you didn't say no, a drunk person cannot logically say yes to sex. You didn't give consent, so what he did was evil and wrong and I think if you make sure he knows that, do a little bit of research into it and educate him you can prevent him from doing this again.

need some help, is it rape?

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