How to be intimate in a celibate relationship?

Question

I’m a strong believer in Christ and made a vow about 6 years ago, when I was 15, that I will save myself until marriage.
I’ve never had a boyfriend, and have found that the idea of sex excites me, and I am willing to do nearly anything when I do settle down with someone. So, I constantly think about what my relationship will be like with another man whenever I do begin dating and definitely want to show affection by kissing him. I’m interested in going a little bit further as long as it’s not sex. But my question is, where does the cut off line start? I think stuff such as kissing and holding hands are pretty simple, but what about touching him in risky areas? Yea it’s not sex but how I see it is if you’re willing to go there that may tempt me to go further. And I don’t wanna do anything that will feed the fire. So what do you suggest? Also if you are/were in a relationship while remaining celibate, how were you both intimate? Thanks!

Answer

Okay this might sound silly but here’s my advice- this is a totally personal thing between you and God and I think the line for everyone is different so.... if you’re being intimate and aren’t sure stop (even if you say you have to go to the bathroom or another excuse) and pray about it. If you still want to do whatever that thing is after praying and pausing then it’s probably okay for you but if not then stop. I don’t think it’s a one line fits every person or even one line fits every instance thing so just turn to God, ask if this is what He wants for you, and go from there. ALSO be really honest with your partner about your faith and your boundaries and make sure he supports both of those.

Answer

If just looking at someone and having thoughts is lusting and considered sinful then anything that could lead you to thoughts such as this would be wrong. Honestly the only things you can do without risk would be holding hands, quick hug, maybe a kiss but things can always lead to more. If you are talking about oral or even touching eachother sexually then you have already had lust.

Answer

Does touching him in risky areas bring honor to God? If you focus on honoring God and obeying Him you’ll easily figure what not to do. Honestly the thought of sex exciting you is a good thing. You’re human and everything works..this doesn’t mean that you should pursue sex.
How would you feel if you get into your first relationship and that guy uses you for sex and leaves. Think beyond sex, what else do you want when you meet the right guy?

Answer

If you go into a relationship with the plan of doing everything but sex, you will end up having sex.
What my husband and I did was we set the line back far enough that if we went past it we still had quite a way to go before it was sex. Also oral and hand jobs are still sex, so watch out for that. Its a hard line to walk, but its much easier if you avoid being alone together.

Answer

Your sexual relationship is between you and your partner. There is no clear line, and what sex is is different from person to person. Whenever you have someone, and whatever you decide on together, just make sure it’s full of respect and love.

How to be intimate in a celibate relationship?

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