Hey everyone.

I am looking for some advice on a difficult situation.

Briefly, me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and lived together for 14 months. We have been looking to buy a house together for a while as we are currently renting and feel that we are stable and secure enough to do so. However.. An opportunity has come up with his parents offering to help with us with the full deposit for our mortgage. Since the offer was given I was quite unsure as to whether I wanted to take them up on that offer because his mom is quite controlling and likes to 'hold something over us'.. She is the type to say things like "you wouldn't have that if it wasn't for me" which is true but unfair to make us feel that we owe them. But my boyfriend is adimant that he wants to accept. I have always had a good relationship with his mother. But for the last 6 months or so she has made things really awkward for me. She will call my boyfriend early in the mornings everyday and discuss the house situation with him when he is at work and not around me. She will never come to our house that we live in now, in fact she hasn't since the day we moved in. She will always call him and guilt trip him how he should go and visit her. She will visit everyone else in the family except us. She has never had an argument or disagreement with me and whenever I see her she is nice to my face. Anyway about a week ago the house situation arose again and she called him to go over her house and discuss money. I wasn't allowed to go. Basically she told him she would give us the deposit for the house on the condition that my name wasn't on the mortgage so it would be 100% in his name. I was really upset over this and the worst part is not only is my boyfriend agreeing with her on this but he didn't tell me about it until it came up in an argument. Her resons were that she doesn't think we are stable because we're not married or not even engaged.

We were discussing engagement for a while and I even found out he purchased a ring to propose to me with and later sold it as he decided he wasn't ready anymore. This really upset me as you can imagine. And now we are in a really awkward place because we can't even talk about our future.

I don't want to end our great relationship because of this situation with his family or because he no longer feels ready for engagement. I just feel like my boyfriend is brainwashed and doesn't stick up for me enough.

Please give some kind advice because I really do not know what to do anymore.

X