Did I rape my boyfriend?

Question

So. About 4-5 days my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. 
Before we had sex I kept asking him if he was okay with us having sex or if he felt like I was pressuring him and pretty much me trying to make sure he was 100% completely on board with having sex. And even up until today I asked and kept making sure that he was okay. 
And he kept telling me that he did want it to happen and that he would like it to happen again and all of this other stuff about how I need to calm down because I didn't pressure him into sex or anything. 
But then today he sent me this text.

It's rape if you don't have consent. And from what he is telling me. I'm getting the messaged that I raped him. 
Did I rape him?

Answer

Technically there is such a thing as revoking consent. I'm not saying you did rape him because it seems like you didn't, but if this was the other way around we wouldn't be blaming the girl if she was the one who sent the message. The fact is that some people say yes because they're in the moment and then end up regretting it.  It's just something that happens sometimes. Next time I think you guys need to communicate waaay better so none of you end up feeling bad. :)

Answer

No. He gave you verbal and physical consent.

Answer

No! He said time and again that he was good with it. He can't just change his mind after the fact. He should have spoken up. Honestly, he seems childish, making you feel bad about sex isn't the way to go. He should have said something then or kept his mouth shut after. What he did isn't how a boyfriend should treat you after sex.

Answer

Girl no because you asked him multiple times if he was ok and he said yes so as far as I'm concerned you did ok it was him lying to himself that made it bad

Answer

Let's keep in mind that plenty of rapists are given verbal consent because victims are pressured, nervous, or afraid.

Body language is important in this situation.

Answer

No he gave consent. You need to keep those messages because of for some reason he takes this to court he said in the text he was fine with it then he just regrets it now because he didn't think you guys were that far along in the relationship. That's not rape. He even said that you asked him and he was fine with it, second guessing whether you guys were ready for that in a relationship is not non-consent it's just someone saying that you guys should slow down. Also it varies my state when it comes to rape laws. Check in your states constitution/ code. Some states tend to lean more towards the woman in these cases and there's some that are the opposite, definitely research it. Like I said don't get rid of these texts, they'll help prove he gave consent on the night intercourse took place. Hope this helps.

Answer

What I don't understand is why is everyone on here saying she didn't rape him. There seems to be some sort of gender bias or double standard because I bet if a guy had posted that asking if he raped his gf. There would be a lot more people saying yes and being upset with him. Not everyone can say no out loud. Its up to both partners to ensure sex is consenual. You cant just take their yes, you have to also see their facial expression and body language. Only then, if he appeared to be fully enjoying it and said yes. Then technically you didn't rape him. But if you just took his word for face value and his actions were saying no. Then like every guy out there who has had a verbal yes but did not pay enough attention to their partners emotional state, yes it was rape.

Answer

There is a difference between rape and regret! You kept asking him is he was ok with it. I'm sure everytime someone woke up hungover they regretted it, but I doesn't mean that they were forced to drink.

Answer

No you did not rape him. He definitely gave you consent and just because he may regret it and wish that he didn't, he did and he wanted it to happen at the time. So no Hun, you didn't rape him. Everything's fine 😘

Answer

No. He gave consent. Just be sure to sincerely apologize and say that you wouldn't think less of him if he had said no. Just try to be understanding and apologetic. And hopefully y'all can move on and be better.

Did I rape my boyfriend?

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