Can you please tell me how much help and support you get from family members? . Like taking lo of your hands

Question

Just thinking about the little support I get from family and want to know if I'm not alone. I'm constantly being judged from mil I'm not socialising enough with my daughter but she doesn't even visit and when she does she sits and drinks coffee.
She prefers socialising with her friends and only wants to know when they are busy and yet wonders why my daughter not close to her.
I just wish I got more help as my family been let down since pregnancy

Answer

Idk my parent and in-laws have their own lives and I’m totally ok with that. They really can’t handle the kids for too long. My mom can’t handle the crying and my MIL is not confident in her parenting skills. I appreciate whatever time they’re willing to give bc it’s not an obligation.

Answer

My in laws live a few hundred miles away and my mom is over 1,000 miles away. But even if anyone lived closer they all have major back or mobility issues so can barely help anyway. We are both only children. Only two friends have ever offered to babysit and it was only for an evening or two. 
We are 99% alone taking care of this kid. We've been calling it "parenting on hard mode" because our parents all had their parents help but we get no support. We even tried to hire a nanny but someone is tough to find and most of them make almost as much as I do at my job which makes it not worth it. I will admit I can get pretty bitter about it, especially when our friends (who have never offered to help even though one works at a daycare specializing in 1-2 year olds) come over and say things like "so your parents don't help? Huh, well that's our plan is to have our family help when we have kids." Ugh.

Answer

Well my husbands side of the family is on the complete opposite side of the states than us and my family is on the complete otherside of the world so that's a no. It would be helpful if we had family close but were handling it really well and it's all good.

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My husbands mom helps a lot and is always asking if we need help. My mom reluctantly helps if I ask.

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My side of the family doesn’t help at all, my mil helps when she can. Usually once a month if that? I’m not complaining though I am the one who wanted a baby so any help is cool but not expected.

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I only get support on Saturday - Sunday’s, with my family. I live with my MIL and she’s always at work and when she’s not she hardly helps me out my husband claims it’s because I wanted the “married life” .She does interact with the kids she also sometimes has something to always say 🙄

Answer

I manage to convince my parents to take my older 2 (currently 5&3) on school breaks (spring break & Thanksgiving break and like a week during summer). But little dude stays with me as I don't feel he is old enough to be away from me until closer to 2. Its nice to only have to care for 1 toddler rather than 3 kiddos though he misses his sisters when they are gone and needs more entertainment from me so not so much of a break for me after all Haha. Spring break this year is split cause of 2 different schools so I'll still have 2 kids at a time for that 🙁. As a single mother who has them all the time I wish I could get more of a break but my family lives 2.5hrs away so  takes a bit of travel to dump them off. Ready for little guy to be old enough for overnights too cause I need a full break before I lose the last shred of sanity I have left.

Answer

My MIL and honestly my husband's whole family is the same way, she only sees my daughter when it convenient for her which is every month or two. She went 5 months before making a effort to come see her before. She will also show up alot right before holidays so she can make it appear to the family she sees my daughter regularly. 
At this point I've accepted what her relationship will be with my daughter, however my husband has not. So that's the battle we have from time to time.
As for my family they are always around and helping out and will take LO off my hands whenever. 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Lol your MiL sounds just like my dad. He flies out to see us saying he’ll help, then he just sits around on his iPad. I’m like... thanks for all that help! I’ve come to realize whenever any grandparent comes over to visit, not to count on their help. They’re just there to see the baby. I could SURE use the help, but they’re just not helpful.

Answer

Honestly...screw your MIL. Her opinion is irrelevant.

Can you please tell me how much help and support you get from family members? . Like taking lo of your hands

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