How to make myself relax during sex?

this is pretty personal, but i was wondering how i could get my body to relax while havig sex. i suffered from sexual abuse as a child, and a lot of it stems from a psycological problem caused from being abused, and general nervousness. every time my boyfriend and i try to have sex, it literally hurts so bad that i almost cry. i have spoken to my Gyno about this. i use Lidocaine ointment on my inner labia to relax those nerves every night, but if anyone had some tips to help me out, that'd be super helpful. (and yes, we've tried multiple positions) thank you all! :-)