Why can't people just understand me

I just graduated from 8th grade. I have no friends in my school. I don't go to a public school so the school i am in has 30 students in total as my freshman class which doesn't leave me many options. I attend church 3 times a week and all my friends are from there. I feel like to be a "Christian" I have to be a perfect little angel and everything has to be fine. But I'm a 14 year old girl. Not everything is fine. But I feel like I can't talk to my friends because I can't let them see that side of me. I just need someone to listen to me. I feel lost and lonely with no one to trust. Please help me.