Dont like orgasms

So, it’s kind of strange I think, but whenever I masturbate I tend to be able to come to an orgasm most of the time. I love the build up, the warmth and the initial start of an orgasm but once the spasm part starts where my clit starts pulsing against whatever I’m using, I stop. I can’t ride out my orgasms and I hate the feeling, it’s to intense and strong. I’ve never had sex with someone before and because of this I’m scared to. Is this normal and does anyone have tips or advice to help? I love the feeling up until that point then I dont and it’s frustrating...