Honest feelings

I've been going through a lot lately and I know that no one probably gives a shit but I have to get all of this off my mind. I feel so stuck. I'm getting ready to move and I'm excited to go and start a new chapter of my life but it has been so challenging. My ex dumped me about a month ago and I've felt so lost and heart broken since. I tried my best to be there for him but my best wasn't enough because he cheated. My mom has been drinking so much and she's been so distant. I can't talk to her about anything anymore because of it. I can't even wake up from a nap after a long day and have my mom be home to talk to. I'm 17 I can't be taking care of two kids on my own. I don't even like kids. I've been so stressed out and I have no idea what to do. I've thought about suicide a lot but I just don't want to say anything about it because I don't want to get locked up again. I'm just so scared and stressed out. I don't have any friends and the only person who talks to me is my ex and he barely even does that. I just I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I had enough guts to kill myself but I'm too much of a coward to do it. I just I don't know anymore.