I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been together for 8 months. I know we’ve been together for a short time, but he is my best friend and everything under the sun.

In January I was emitted into the hospital for MRSA. My hand(s) looked like a balloon and had major puss pockets growing which caused an infection in my finger and bacteria in my blood.

Before putting me on Vancomycin for my 9 long day stay, they did a urine test to see if I was pregnant, but it came back negative. It was a false negative. I didn’t do my research on the medicine but my nurses kept telling me that it was basically like chemotherapy, just less harsh side affects.

After 9 days of blood draws every six hours, my blood cultures finally came back negative. Meaning there wasn’t any signs of bacterial growth in it anymore. I went home but had to be on a picc line and infusions for another 9 days. The picc line is just a catheter inserted in one of my veins that directly travels to the heart in order to pump out the medicine faster. I had infusions every 8 hours, 3 times a day for 18 days in total.

After it was removed,

my boyfriend took me to Disneyland for 3 days to get away. We planned this trip well before I got sick, I didn’t want to ruin it so I slapped a bandaid over the tiny hole in my arm so no germs get in and took an amazing vacation lol. On the 3rd day we went to Huntington Beach before heading home. I kept peeing A LOT and feeling a little sick. No idea why, but we bought pregnancy tests and sure enough, they were positive.

We shared our news immediately with our family and were thrilled. We made our first appointment to confirm our pregnancy on February 22. On March 2 we went out on a date and I didn’t feel too good. I went to the bathroom and was bleeding heavily for being pregnant. I tried to shrug it off because I didn’t want to confirm what I already knew deep down. We went to my house and I shut my room door but my parents seen me walk in crying. They knew what was wrong already, so they made me go. We tried to stay positive at the hospital, but it was 2 in the morning and we just wanted answers. My boyfriend wasn’t allowed to go back when I did my ultrasound, so he was mad that he didn’t get to see his baby for the first time. The screen was empty, there were no signs of an embryo. I miscarried our baby. I was almost 2 months. We lost our baby because of all the harsh chemicals that were still inside my system. It was my first baby. His first baby. (The picture is when the nurses finally left us alone and he cried in my lap)

Everyone told me it was “normal” to miscarry your first, but they’re so wrong, right? That’s nothing to normalize. It’s been a while and we still haven’t fully accepted it. I know I wasn’t far along, but how have you ladies dealt with a miscarriage if you’ve ever been through it? We had a false positive a few weeks ago. He was so excited, but then I started my period.. we’ve both decided we’re not gonna try anymore until I get my health where it needs to be.