My first pregnancy ended in an ectopic this Saturday, with one of my tubes removed after several appointments, increasing blood draws and the baby being unable to be found in the uterus.

Naturally I was and am quite upset but in addition to the emotional and physical ordeal I feel like my husband is partly to blame for his aggressive behaviour during a time when I needed support - even though this may be irrational.

I love my husband, when he’s good he’s really good but when he’s angry he’s unable to control his anger and says I should know not to keep at him all day as it will lead to his aggression.

There was a particular issue that I disagreed with and I mentioned that in the morning and then again twice once he came back from work. He said “ok, fine” but then at the end of the night completely flipped at me. I didn’t raise my voice, swear or be rude - I merely nagged and asked him to reconsider a situation that was making me feel uncomfortable in the future.

I can’t help but feel that even if I did raise my voice or swear or be rude, at the end of day, I was very hormonal and so he still should have remained calm, even more so given that I didn’t behave in that way and was pregnant.

I realise this is not exactly domestic violence and will be clear that there was no physical violence but does whinging at the husband for one day really justify getting aggressive at the wife, to the point that she’s scared of him? He swore at me and the unborn baby at that stage which really hurt me.

I dunno, just wanted to vent.

I understand stress may have links to miscarrying but perhaps no link with ectopics and he’s being really kind since the ectopic surgery but I can’t help but feel like I was so alone that week with all the appointments leading up to my surgery, and it was immediately after that argument that I started bleeding fairly heavily.

He always finds a way to blame his aggression on me, and takes no accountability to try and control himself, but I didn’t think he’d persist with this behaviour whilst knowing I was pregnant...

Am I being dramatic?