I just need to speak to someone anyone, I need peoples advice I’m at a lost end and I don’t know what to do, my partner suffers NOW with mental health when we got together 4 years ago he understood I wanted a baby he is 5 years younger than me making him 24... I’ve had unprotected sex for 12 years and never been caught pregnant so I’m a little worried I’ve been for some basic tests in the UK about my hormones and they said the next step is to get my partner checked out he will not go because he’s scared of being told he’s not able to have children, anyway he told me he wanted to go on lads holidays and stuff and festivals that was fine so we said in August 2019 we will try for a baby he agreed and did everything he wanted to bearing in mind I give/gave him everything he wanted, stupidly I also let him neglect me and play the Xbox (plays the Xbox as it’s his coping mechanism his councillor said) till stupid hours in the morning but I thought its okay as I’ll be having my end of the deal got to July 28th 3 days before trying and he told me he doesn’t want a baby due to his mental health.... which was fine at that point then I started resenting him because I’d done everything and been neglected and still wanted to stay he wouldn’t talk about the baby situation after July 28th so I had no one to talk to so I started talking to my friend he understood I was heartbroken and I also seemed counselling as I was struggling to come to terms my long term partner now didn’t want children yet, my counsellor basically said I needed to either stay with him and wait or go your own way since my counselling sessions my friend has treated me better than my now ex boyfriend ever treated me and it made me wonder why is he treating me better, the reason was because my partner was so addicted to his Xbox he used it as a excuse and I let him get away with it. Now I’ve obviously told my now ex I have feelings for my friend and he understands because he never shown me the time of day EVER last time we did something together was July 2017 I was just stupid thinking people will keep promises makes it harder because up to that date he told me he seemed like he was excited too he claims he burried his head in the sand. I don’t know if to give him another chance but he’s also told me he still doesn’t want kids yet. Or do I give it a go with my friend in a year or so and just stay single and find my self again and learn to love me

Thanks for any advice in advance