Mums and dads where one of you works full time the other part.time or stay at home. What's your opinion..need help and reassuring as I feel like I'm out of line and feel so low 😔

I feel even worse today, he barely does anything with the kids I'm always doing everything,I take them out and do things, I decided to treat us the other week to go out for the day all four us and that was thrown in my face that it was for me not him or the kids as one of them had already been, I said it was for us all. But he put me first by going for the day, he doesn't come to the park or anything with the kids as apparently there aren't any dad's that do that..he sits on his Xbox or.in.his office or on his phone whilst I'm tending to the kids, house etc and yes . He's poorly with an infection and hasn't felt good for a few days, but he's be counting that for 11 days and I haven't looked after him and his body is in bits and I haven't given him a massage or tended to his every needed, which shows I don't care about him because I haven't done anything off my own back to help him, he has allowed me to sleep after realising I'm exhausted after three weeks of broken sleep/no sleep He was up with he little one because I was exhausted due to little one being ill and not sleeping properly I've been up every night whilst he's had a full night sleep, this is still happening now, I have also had it thrown in my that theres no other man or women that would allow their partner to work just 16 hours and take the p and the house isn't done properly or isn't tidy it's scummy, bare in mind he's been home and seen how clingy and grizzly little ones been so it's been difficult.doesnt tend to little or come off his Xbox so I can get stuff done,yet says well you've done nothing, He claims the house ends up a crap hole two mins after it's done, why does it take four hours to do one room and it's still not spotless. Yet he doesn't see he's created crap aswell which I have to organise due him to his building work. Then going on about I should be making sure stuffs done when she's sleeping I said to him the three times she's had a good sleep one I went and had a sleep which he told me tom the other two times I did what I could in the two hour she was asleep, he's been sat on his Xbox all day and today off to get two hours worth of tattooing done. Yet claims he's really poorly he can't work, I am in pain every day and he doesn't see it..I suffer with migraines that at there worst cause me stroke like symptoms and paralysis and headaches everyday,a back that's in bits from a crash 5 years ago that I can loss sensation in one of my arms,hand foot and leg..I'm worn out and struggling yet I'm a selfish self centred b**ch because I told him I don't put my self first I'm last. Apparently that's not true he's last. Apparently getting lay ins and not having to help around the house is me not being selfless. Or the fact he has a lie in every Saturday. I have literally just cried my eyes out, our little one cries and it's your going to have to take her with your or go for a walk as she's not going to settle. He hasn't got off his backside to help me,usually when she's happy settled and has naps I can crack on,.on occasion I just ait and chill for half hour and now I'm not even going to do that because I'm wrong for it.im not even going to nap because I'm wrong for it. As I feel like such a crap mum and partner because my house isnt spotless because I haven't showed him I care, he's literally from the start of our relationship always been looked after and cared form I'm up to stupid hours and over time it's become less. He gets massages, sinus drain, facials, hand and arms done, legs, even wash his hair as he suffers with his scalp,y shoulders are in bits and burn, I have knots the size of boulders. I have a lower back that's crumpling and a bulging disc in my neck, I'm in pain all the time, yet I'm left here feeling again I'm out of order, I haven't done enough, I haven't done wha to should around the house and no other man or women would tolerate it and allow 16 hours a week work and the house etc not done properly. When he works full time. I should be disappointed and discusted with myself that the house is messy and yet he cracks on to dot he building work etc yet does next to no dad duties I am not having any more children and our most recent one happened on the pill, I am now at the point where I wont nap if.i need it or rest,relax when I should or am.allpwed because I don't work full time, I am not a.clwan queen as the house is messy and I don't care for him when he's in bits, so on other words I'm not allowed to stop and have to carrying on as a I don't do enough. I literally just want to disappear as I feel like a let down 😭😭😭💔💔