scared of disappointment

Caylar • ttc`1
Hi girls sorry this may be a long post but here goes. I average 26day cycles but am never usually spot on time. Anyway my last period was September 17th which makes me 13days late today. My longest cycle was 53 days in August 2014 I then had a long cycle in January this year of 45 days and the cycle after was 39days in febuary this year, since then I've ranged from 17-28 day cycles. Today is day 39 of my cycle and I am frightened to test as I don't want to be disappointed. My question is should I test now or wait till 45 day mark or 53 day mark? Replies would be appreciated thankyou