Morning all! Firstly I want to thank Carli for creating this group - I think it will bring all of us comfort and hope 🙏🏻

So....I’m Valerie and I’m from Edinburgh in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. I’m 37, going on 38 this year and my partner has recently turned 42. We’ve been together for 4 years and last year he said Yes to trying for a baby. He had always been a reluctant maybe to having a family and I had accepted that but when we moved to Edinburgh from London and became more settled he changed his mind. The prospect of being able to have our own home and being back amongst my friends and family helped change his mind I think. So we’ve been trying for 7 months now and nothing. Not even a faint bfp.

I’m finding it so difficult to continue tbh. After all the temping and peeing on sticks; vitamins, no alcohol and watching what I eat I’m still no closer to getting that positive. My OH also drives me insane because even though he said yes to trying, he says “if it happens, it happens”. It took me a few months to drill it into him that it’s all about timing! And unfortunately his libido has plummeted since he turned 40. That plus the occasional performance issue makes me think he has low testosterone. And it also makes me angry and upset when he spurns my advances because he’s simply not in the mood - and there is nothing I can do to change his mind. So during my fertile week I’m lucky if I get 3 bites at the cherry. Not great when my chances are already below the 20%.

If AF turns up this month there won’t be a baby in 2018. So I’ve decided to have a month off in April - no charting or using OPKs and no stressing in the tww!! I’ve also decided he can pursue me for a change - I need a month where I don’t feel like a sexual predator 😂😂😂

I work in a lab where we get antenatal booking samples - I can’t tell you how hard it is to see all these pregnant ladies coming in every day. Not to mention I’ve had several pregnant colleagues and my best friend is having her 5th child 😔 She’s desperate for me to be pregnant at the same time but it looks like it’s just not going to happen!

Sorry for the Uber long post...this is the first time I’ve opened up about all this!!