How to supress sex feeling for my wife

Me and my wife living in different state because she doesn't wanna leave her job and she gives more important to her job than me.

Its been one and half years complete and she is 31 year old and I am 33 year old and we havr no child yet.

Now my wife insisting to conceive baby. But I don't want to have baby untill we live together forever.

Many times I told her this thing but she starts angry on me. She does not love to have sex with me. She make me feel ashamed when I try to make dirty talk with her on phone call because of my horniness. Every morning I masturbate on my bed thinking about my wife. I see lots of porn videos. I tried to leavr the habbit to watching porn and masturbation but I failed every time.

Because she comes very rarely to meet me therefore I always feel very horny for her and strong urge to fuck her but she does not like to have sex with me. But now she is coming every month during her ovulation time to conceive the baby, but I don't want to make her pregnant untill she leave her state start living with me in our home. But this is very much hard for me to control my horny feelings and urge to fuck her when she lay beside me. Good thing is she is not pregnant till now.. But she is coming again this Christmas 🎄 to get pregnant.

Can you please please tell me to how to suppress my horny (sexual feeling) when I sleep beside very beautiful wife. I just do not want to fuck her.

I can use condom but then she will not allow me to penetrate with condom. I just don't want my penis get hard just by touching her body. Also I want to not to touch her body and her private part.

Last time I hit my self to control these feeling.

Talk does not work with her. She does not love me and she doesn't respect my feeling. Therefore I just don't wanna have child untill we start living together.

I am a Senior Software Engineer and she is a nurse in a state government hospital.

Thanks for your suggestion.

I hope you understand my post. Thanks to read it.

Because of this I am going through depression. I know, once she will get pregnent, she will never come to me. I masturbate because it gives me relief from depression.