I cannot believe it! One thing after another! 💔

More just wanting to vent but any advice or help is appreciated! It’s long I apologise but I’ll try keep it as concise as I can.

I found out I was pregnant March 11th. About the 20th I had some spotting. Went to Gynaecology and they took bloods but the HCG wasn’t high enough for an ultrasound. They did swabs and I got sent home. A few days later the bleeding was heavy and bright red so went back in. Swab results were back, I found out I had gotten Chlamydia from my ex (so about 5 years unknowingly there doing damage) and also had BV which is common with pregnancy, both were promptly treated. They did more bloods, this time it was higher than 1,000 so they scanned me. They saw a ‘sac’ but nothing else. Was told to come back in a fortnight to see if there was a heartbeat but they suspected and told me to prepare for miscarriage.

Went back a few days later with intense pains and bleeding. I could barely walk and couldn’t breathe properly without it hurting. Yet another scan and they admitted me to hospital with ectopic. The pain intensified greatly during the night. The next day I was sent for another scan where they confirmed it was ectopic. I was bleeding internally filling my ovary and tube and I was rushed into theatre half an hour later, barely had time to sign forms!

Three long ass days after and I was finally home. I was told to keep coming back weekly for bloods until my HCG levels dropped below 10.

They dropped massively at first and then the amount it dropped by declined.

On the 14th, it was 21. On the 21st it has gone up to 22.

I have more bloods due on the 28th. They now suspect something has been left and if those bloods come back as 20 or above then they are looking to give me the abortion tablets. Yet more havoc to endure if they are anything like the forums and internet says they are!!

During all of this, Both me and my partner went down to my local sexual health clinic to have a check up and make sure the Chlamydia had gone after completing our courses of antibiotics, we were told 2 weeks after the treatment ends was fine to check as did sources on the internet. Well according to my sexual health clinic it’s 6 weeks!! We can’t get tested until late May!! I also found out my smear is overdue by at least a year (I wasn’t sent any reminders from anyone) and I can’t have that until at least 12 weeks after the pregnancy hormone is gone!! (Which it still isn’t) until then it’s obviously protected sex!!

I want to try for another one ASAP but I honestly don’t see the point! I’m not sure I can do the heartache again! It took us 10 months to get here. We are coming to the 12 month mark at the beginning of May and I doubt this whole ordeal will even be over! We have to wait for swabs and smears, the abortion tablets to stop causing Havoc and my cycles to come back and then it could take just as long, if not longer to conceive all over again!

On top of all this, they have said that they think the Chlamydia has caused PID after lying untreated for so long, which they suspect caused the ectopic! They suspect that’s why it took us a while to conceive as my fertility isn’t all right. They left my tube but it’s heavily scarred so I’m at a high chance of this happening again! I feel guilty for losing my baby and feel it’s my fault! I feel guilty on my partner! I am upset I’ve got to wait so long! All I wanted was another baby to love and to cherish! My daughter and step son don’t know so I have to hide my pain and I just feel isolated! I’m fed up!!! All of this because I wanted another child!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I am sorry for the rant and I appreciate if you even made it through! Thank you!