He wants more

Ellie

So yesterday me and my boyfriend were having some sexy time 😏😏 I was riding and I have a lot of trouble with it for some reason. Like I can’t figure out how to make my body be less rigid. And on top of that I’m just generally really anxious about being bad and being judged. He said it’s less up and down motion and then suggested that I watch porn while riding him so I could “just copy the girl on the phone”. I know he was trying to be helpful but I took it too personally and just ended up quitting right there and laying down.

I K N O W it’s totally ridiculous to have the thoughts I’m having, but I can’t help it. I feel like since he had to say something at all that eventually he’ll just get tired of me sucking and decide to move on. I love my boyfriend and I know he’s a good man, I trust him 100% but I always have the thoughts in the back of my head.

With all this being said, does anyone know any tips? For how to not take it so personal, how to breakthrough my barrier, how to better please him etc..

He always makes me feel great and I can’t necessarily do the same for him😒

*disclaimer: before anyone says that maybe I’m “too young”, I’m 19 and he’s 20 and we’re currently living together

I really just have a lot of anxieties from past relationships that were emotionally abusive