Can anybody help???

Before picture 2017

After picture 2019 today

Please someone help me, because I’m afraid that if I don’t change I’ll be brave enough to take my own life😭😭😭

People will say eat healthy and exercise it I’ve done that and I still fall back to eating bad

I’m even willing to develop an eating disorder and not eat because that seems like the best option right now🤷🏽‍♀️😭

I’m 19 years old standing at 5’4 and 230LBS

Please help