Vent. Quitting pumping.

Ca

My baby just turned 10 months. We have been struggling with my milk supply and bottle preference since 4 months. I have pumped and stressed and I’m over it. I hate pumping with a passion. I know it’s providing food for my child, but my supply just gets lower and lower. Even first thing in the morning, a time I have always nursed him, my supply has all but disappeared. I don’t know why and it’s depressing every day when my boobs feel empty. I can’t deal with the anxiety and sadness and feelings of anger and resentment anymore. I’m quitting. I can’t do this anymore. My baby hates nursing. I hate pumping. My supply has betrayed me. I just can’t do it. And I hate how guilty I feel about it. I hate that our society makes it almost impossible to breastfeed for a full year as a working mother, yet guilts you when you cant do it because your supply gives out. It’s the worst case of gaslighting there is.