Should I Leave Him?
I got into a engaged abt a yr & 2 months ago. Let me add this since alot of people are getting confused. We’ve been dating for 3+ yrs we just got engaged a yr & 2 months ago. He lived 45mins away from me but we made it work since we worked at the same company. Point is I ended up getting pregnant 2 months into our engagement my pregnancy was planned, everything was going by so smoothly. I stayed with my family during my pregnancy since I was going to college it was nearby & I didnt wanna drive 45mins everyday for my classes. He always came with me to the doc appts made sure I had enough money to get the babies stuff etc etc. When I was nearly at the end of my pregnancy abt 36 weeks He asked me to move in with him (at the time he was living with his cousin renting a room) I didnt mind as long as we saved up to get an apartment on our own in the near future. So I moved 2 weeks after since it was the end of my college semester & 3days later I had my baby. NOW THIS IS WHEN EVERYTHING STARTS GOING DOWNHILL..... The labor went smoothly & I had a healthy baby thing is she didnt seem to latch (It looked like she was sucking but in reality wasnt eating at all) His cousins gf wtf she is starts saying “only real mothers breastfeed their babies” & all this other bs well he starts pressuring me to latch her on not understanding it was only going to torture her & make me feel worse then I already did. 2 weeks later I decided to pump what I could & finish her off with formula. My doctor said I must have been under to much stress because my milk completely vanished at my 1month check up. She diagnosed me with a mild case of postpartum depression. (Mind you I had no support whatsoever, I now lived 45mins away from my family & I had suffered from a 2nd degree tear & my bladder had shifted sides causing me extreme pain whenever I sat or bend over for to long) I tried to emotionally connect with my baby because I knew I loved her but I just couldnt figure out how to show it. Good thing is she was always well relaxed with me the problem was her dad all the time judging me criticizing me for doing things differently. I felt like he didnt trust me when it came to her like he doubted my ability as a first time mom. That alone made my depression worse & then one day it just hit me & I cried myself out, went to the gym, & dyed my hair telling myself I was gonna get better for my baby. And I did. I started ignoring his negativity focusing on my baby & college. Now 3months later my baby fully trusts me & shes the happiest little angel alive making me feel happy in this shithole 😍 The problems just her dad hes always mad or serious giving me attitude for everything. Sometimes he doesnt even help me with my baby he tells me its my “Job” like I care for her all day long until 6pm then I study till 1am doing college assignments (Like I also need some me time its not always gonna be baby/college all the time). I cook for him he doesnt eat shit its like I now live alone cause hes hardly ever home & when he is he either argues with me or ignores me. I do love him very much but my patience does have a limit & im honestly getting tired of all this bad energy like Im no longer happy coming back home on Fridays after college. Only day I get to see my family sometimes I just feel like taking off but I stop myself because I want my daughter to have her father in her life but I always find me asking myself “Is this really the right choice” ANY ADVICE WELL APPRECIATED 🙂