Hello everyone. Been married for 18months, together for nearly ten years. So long story that I will try to condense..

My husband got caught with gay porn on his phone.. it's not the first time as early on I found he had signed up to a men's sex website and was sending dick pics and asking to meet up (his rule was no kissing) anyway he never met up with anyone and we moved on.. I've been going through a really tough time but I've never felt closer to him as he has been so supportive with our TTC journey but this has hit me hard. All I keep thinking is clearly I don't offer him what he wants and what hurt the most was he said he was trying to cum to get sperm for my insemination (I had a tummy bug so told him we couldn't have sex) but all the tools for insemination were in my bedroom and he didn't have any on him so I called him out and he admitted it was for his own personal use. I'm hurt that he used the fertility card to get away with it and I'm unsure how we move on or if we do move on.

I have a step son who I adore so I have been civil with him in front of the child but I'm so lost and unsure and could really use some advice 😭😭