Repeat C-section questions

So I had an emergency csection august 2018. I’m scheduled to be induced at midnight Saturday, however, I’ve started to question the safety of this choice after being told about shoulder dystocia because I have gestational diabetes and my baby was 95th percentile at 36 weeks. I was told that 4500 grams is the weight in which they would no longer be comfortable with my vbac. He is estimated to be 4150 as of Saturday. So I’m wondering if that’s a little too close to the limit for safety. Anyway, I’ve been told that if I get nervous and change my mind to just let them know when I check in and they’ll switch the plans. So I’m just wondering how other moms felt about their repeat cesarean. How long did it take, did you get to hold baby, all that stuff. Also what medications you were given? I’m also worried I’ll start to panic once I lay there and think about what is happening and I was previously told I’d be put to sleep if that happened so I’d really like to avoid that as I did miss my first son’s birth due to being under anesthesia. Thank you in advance. ETA: I do still have issues from my previous csection with scar pain and nerve damage causing numbness and sensitivity in some areas.