I'm so down and out ladies

Single mum to two boys both with special needs. Recently started seeing someone. Now he is around when the youngest one is up because my youngest doesnt usually sleep till gone 10 pm. His bedroom is waiting for one ig the walls to get fixed so he goes to sleep downstairs then I put him to bed when he is less likely to cause trouble as he is much like me and not a morning person so I can get to him quick in the morning before he hurts himself or whatever.

Anyway this guy is a single dad has 2 boys as well sees them a couple nights in the week and has them every second weekend. Pays for them. You name it. He does it. He is an amazing dad.

My children's dads. Are the totally freaking opposite neither pay for the child. (My youngest sons dad actually steals money for me and other family members). My oldest sons dad is not involved he has no clue and is a typical deadbeat dad to his son. My youngest dad advises by social work is not allowed any unsupervised access as he failed a parenting course. Fine whatever. He comes in most days of the week to see the kids and treats them both same. If not my older son better then his own.

I was kinda dealing with it okay until I started seeing this other guy and showing how much of an amazing dad he is. My boys have totally missed out. Which is a shame. But so have I. I dont get every second weekend off or whatever. I maybe get one night out every 4 or 5 months? And even then I come back home to the boys and get up deal with them the next morning. I dont get break. I cant really ask my mum for help as she has only just started back at work after having nearly a year off for severe depression and she still isnt her normal self and feels like she needs time off. But because she was told they would half her wages if she didnt come back. She went back.

I just want a break and I want a good baby daddy for my boys 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. I'm so done with everything and life. My man I'm seeing has spent all weekend out as it's not his turn to have his kids. Running a charity event and getting drunk at night. All I get is nothing 😭😭😭. Sorry for the moan just had to get it out my system.