Depression

I think I may be depressed. I asked for a referral to a counsellor but even she doesn't seem to take me seriously because I haven't expressed the full extent of how bad my mental health has been. Doing everything by phone makes it difficult to do so since I have my kids and partner at home when I'm on the phone and can't give 100% of my attention to the phone call and don't feel comfortable talking about it out loud either. My partner doesn't even know I'm talking to anyone for my mental health. I think he'd eye roll at me anyway. I've had shit mental health for years for numerous reasons some being abandonment issues, childhood abuse (of different kinds), death of a parent as a child, abuse in my adult life, and just general lack of self esteem, no confidence and have hated myself for years.