Who is wrong here?

I'm seeing my fwb in a few weeks. We usually meet up every other month because we're 8 hours away from each other. He and I are both switches and take turns Domming and Subbing to each other. He's a full switch and goes between the extremes when it comes to bdsm and he's either extremely sadistic or a very good sub. I'm much more in the middle and don't tend to the extremes.

We're discussing our next visit that I'm driving to him on November 5th. He's clearly in an extremely Dom headspace, which is fine, but I feel like he's being very disrespectful that he's not willing to tone it down a bit while I'm there so that I can enjoy our time too. He's acting like he can't control himself and as long as he's warned me he's absolved of any consequences... Here's our convo. Am I being an ass or is he? If I'm being unfair I'd like to know.

He mentions me dating: I'm going on ONE DATE with someone else I met, next week. Someone closer who can meet my needs without having to drive 8 hours. We're not even going to have sex, we're just meeting up to see if we're compatible. He also says I'm flip floppy- I'm into a few different dynamics and I'm cool with a lot, he has known this forever. My issue here is that he's not willing to compromise. Either it's me going down there and him being completely unhinged and sadistic on me, or he doesn't want me to come down at all.

He's also been in the BDSM scene for 15 years and he's very experienced and has taught me a lot about consent, boundaries, healthy discussions, and learning ourselves. I've never felt uncomfortable with him in the years we've known each other. So obviously I'm PISSED that he's basically being whiny and saying he can't control himself suddenly. He's 33 and I'm 23, we've known each other for 3 years.

Forewarning, we're into weird shit so the first picture is going to be wtf.

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