The past year I went though some really tough things, from traumatic incidents to loss of friends and estrangement from family to romantic relationship breakdowns and betrayals. For the first time in my life I’ve felt like I need a great level of support, I’ve experienced therapy before but not at the moment. For the most part I’ve shared this stuff with my friend who lives with me. She’s been supportive in many ways, acts of service etc, and so I have tried to apply understanding and gratitude. My dilemma is this, I recently indicated to my friend that I was in a dark place and borderline suicidal, this is heavy and I didn’t use the words exactly but it was heavily implied. I also told this friend that I really needed a reminder of who I am I’m not sure if this friend just didn’t know what to say but she didn’t say much at all, and sometimes when I tel my friend things she just doesn’t say much. I really needed in that moment to be told that I am valued,, loved, cared about, I make a difference all of those things. I know it can be draining to hear about someone’s problems and heavy to hear about suicide but honestly having this vulnerable moment made me feel more lonely than ever when I didn’t get response I needed. I’m really good at speaking life into my friends and uplifting them but I don’t have anyone that really does that for me and it sucks, I don’t think I can tell her this because it would like I’m discrediting her as a friend and making her feel bad or putting the responsibility of my happiness on her. But also I don’t know what to do because it makes me want to isolate which will probably affect the friendship at a point. I don’t want to feel like I only matter to people when I’m in a positive place, at the moment I need community but I just feel like a burden and too much and it sucks. People have always made me feel like I’m too much or not enough. I feel really lonely, broken down and like I’m becoming a lesser version of myself each day. What do I do?