Positive thinking today can suck it!!!

9 going in 10 months ttc, af is due Friday and can feel her on her way so today I'm afraid as the title says positive thinking can suck it!! I do that all month well today! Today can go and do one! In one of those moods where thinking it's never going to happen! I know iv not been ttc for as long as some people but still feels like forever! It really doesn't help when I look through all the success stories and LOVE seeing all the positive tests then get kind of sad when I read the post of "only been trying since jan 1st" I'm super happy for them as I know how stressful it can be going through this for a long time and they don't have to but, on the same note feel a bit sorry for myself at the same time!  Sorry for the essay just needed a rant  
​I just look at my 2 half year old and just give her an extra squeeze , another story! And that lolly she's not really supposed to have :) 
​:( :(