On January 22nd, this year, my stepdad passed away of cancer. I was only 16. All my family and mums friends said (and still do say) you have to stay strong for your mum. Because of this. I haven't grieved. At all. I have cried about 4 times since his death and today I had a breakdown. I started screaming, pulling out my hair, ripping paper, crying. But my mum, and even family and friends, all said I was going 'psycho' for no reason and that I needed to calm down. My mother has recently started going on tinder and whenever I say something negitive she snaps at me.  But when I have a breakdown, I get no support. I've been crying in a bathroom for about an hour now and haven't received any support. Only when my mum breaks down, she gets support. I don't think this is right. I feel like I have finally started to grieve and everyone is telling me to stop, all because my mother lost her partner. I feel like I've been shamed into blocking everything out  and now I don't know what to do. I'm only 17 and I've had to live with cancer since I was 11. I haven't personally had it but my stepdad did. I'm just feeling lost and like no one supports me.