Feeling Frustrated & Alone

Peighton • My rainbow Olive Ivy • 2 miscarriages • TTC #2 • Photographer

Today has made me feel like my life is incredibly pointless so I just want to rant....

I’m 20 and my friends (the few I have) are the same age or younger. None have kids and are still extremely immature. They don’t want to hang out most the time and when they do they seem annoyed by me. I have extreme anxiety so it’s very hard for me to even attempt to make new friends and when I do try it never works out.

My husband just started working overnights. He works 9pm-6am and sleeps until 2 then stays in the bedroom until 3-4. We go to sleep at 7. There’s only a 3-4 hour time he can see us. He complains when I ask him to take care of our daughter and when I get mad about him not helping he turns around and gets mad for implying he’s a bad dad. He says I complain constantly and honestly I do because I take care of a baby always with no help while cleaning up after him and doing ALL chores around the house. He does have a hard job but it’s so hard doing this all by myself.

My daughter while I love her to death sometimes she drives me absolutely insane with crying 24/7. She has tummy issues that I won’t even get into and is teething. She’s constantly cries since she’s been born and drs are absolutely no help.

Two weeks ago I was involved in a hit and run that’s has been a nightmare getting any information on my car situation. Today I was FINALLY told is was a total loss so in the next week I have to get all my belongs out of my car, give away that car, get the money and sign paperwork from insurance, find a new car, and get a new car before I have to bring my rental car back Monday.

I found out I mostly likely have an autoimmune disorder after testing positive for two things but the specialist is expensive and my entire family is telling there’s no way I have it and I shouldn’t go because it’ll be a waste of money. I feel like I’m dying most days.

On top of all that I’m trying to start a photography businesses because I wanted something to keep me busy and happy because recently my anxiety and depression have been getting the best of me. No one is interested in getting FREE pictures done and how would that not make you feel like shit?

There’s people even more I could rant about but at least this is out. Thanks for listening... I’ll just go love on my daughter now