My stupid stupid body 😭

Olivia

Laying here a absolute mess in tears... My third pregnancy let me take you back a few weeks, I found out I was pregnant hesitant to accept this fact due to miscarriage's this year I had 3 spots of blood right around 4 weeks as normally expected I still panicked went doctors and explained look I'm a mess the Epu unit last time I could refer my self with out doctors but I went doctors simply asking for bloods for reassurance but they said they would scan then test cutting this a little bit short nothing on scan to early bloods came back as rising but slow at this time I accepted miscarriage number 3 about a week of bloods and scans we found the sac in the wrong place but with a chance it could grow and move in the right direction the doctor already explained on Monday we will do one last scan and then if it's still in the wrong place we will inject to remove. Well by some miricale it had moved! Right to where it is supposed to be and we believe we may have seen a flicker of which was a heart. Told to revisit in one week which is tomorrow and all week I have Had on and off brown spottingall week today more than normal just went to the loo this was very discharge like all like but has turn to a dark red with brown I am so upset that I thought I had a chance of going to the unit tomorrow and seeing a growth in the pregnancy and a more clear heart beat but after what I am getting now I let my self get my hopes up for nothing and tomorrow will be bad news I have googled the internet like mad to make my self feel better but it won't change the outcome 😭 why can't my body hold on to a pregnancy I hate it so much.