9DPO!!!! Heart breaks each month!!!

So I’m currently at 9DPO. I’ve been TTC for 3 years and each month gets harder and harder... Some people are so lucky to get an early positive. Got this baby making down to a T but never any results! I had an ectopic earlier this year which resulted in a tubal flush.. I’m feeling tired, low, angry, emotional all at once.. Not even a little indent just a BFN!! Looks like I’ll be ruling myself out yet another month! Don’t know if I can keep doing this to myself!