Break up

So this guy I was dating and I ended things tonight (I imagine we provided entertainment for everyone on the same balcony as us 🙄😅) the reason for the breakup was because it’s been niggling in the back of my head how different we are to the point where sometimes he’d talk to me about stuff that honestly holds no interest and I found myself wondering more than a few times ‘why am I with this person?’ Or ‘shouldn’t there be chemistry or some sort of spark?’ Either way the whole thing unfolded while we were out to dinner and I was honest and he was clearly a bit upset but I sat there feeling relieved which surely if I was with the right person I wouldn’t feel that way? Either way I got into the car and just felt like you know when you’ve had a bad week at work and you make it to the weekend and feel like a weights off your shoulders? That’s how I felt 😂Either way it was a learning curve but he’s looking to settle down and wants kids and all that stuff and he’s a bit clingy and I’m the opposite, sure marriage is fine but kids I don’t want until much later if at all and I think my independence intimidated him, I feel like he wanted me to want him more? But I’m an independent woman and I don’t need a man or another half, I’m whole the way I am 🤷🏽‍♀️ but it annoyed me the fact he was calling me out for not going on nights out and drinking with him but that’s a trust thing with me and I’d made that clear but he was quite quick to flip it round and say that was hurtful to him? And (no judgement please) but as a virgin I don’t want to rush anything and honestly I’m just not that sexually attracted to anyone at all but in the midst of this his “solution” to the fact I thought there was no spark was to suggest if that was because of a lack of physicality to our relationship? That felt like a bit of a backhander for not sleeping with him but that’s my choice and I decide, I don’t ever want to feel rushed and he said he didn’t want me to feel like that but his words said otherwise which I just don’t get 🙄 either way it’s over and I feel happier and more comfortable on my own than I ever did with him. Here’s to enjoying my own company and revelling in book boyfriends for a long while instead! Sorry this has been so long, I just wanted to make it clear though to everyone else out there who has doubts about relationships or gets these backhanded comments, that you don’t need to put up with that and you deserve better even if that means your own company for a while ☺️ you’re whole just as you are x