Lost my dad


Early Sunday morning, around 12ish am, my dad died. It was completely, completely unexpected. I wasn’t even home. I checked my phone to a call from my sister, and a snap from her. It was only supposed to be a panic attack. I called her back. It wasn’t. He was gone. I absolutely lost it. When I was finally driven home, there were cops still outside. My family was there waiting for me. It was probably around 2 or 3am at this point. I saw them and lost it even more. It’s Tuesday and I still feel lost. My family is extremely extremely close and so loving. I don’t know what to do with myself. I wake up and expect to find him in the kitchen. Everything reminds me of him. I loved him so much. I have so much regret and sadness and just truly don’t know how to be alive right now. I am only 23 years old. This is not supposed to happen.