i’m so alone.

i feel so alone. all my friends are fake and no one knows the real me. no one really loves me. when i tell people i love them i have to say “say it back” otherwise they don’t. i tell my best friend i love her and she says meh. i open up about it to my friend eli and he says “that sucks.” i open up about it to my supposed friend rico and say that all my friends are fake and i just feel so alone, so what does he do? he makes it about him and start acting like the victim. he said that he had been there through so much of my shit, his words, and he was just fake he guesses. and i said i just feel so alone and i don’t think anyone that’s ever told me they loved me meant it. and what was his response? “wow. wow [deadname]. just wow.” and he continues to call me by my deadname and use she/her pronouns when i go by they/them and my name is seven. i asked my supposed friend diego if we could call because i was feeling really sad and alone and he always manages to make me laugh. his response? give me 10 minutes. how long has it been? two hours. i’m just so done with everyone. not to mention i’m staying at my best friends house and when she asked when i was leaving tonight i told her soon. what was her response? good. she said fucking good. i hate myself.