This is probably going to be a long one but I need to get it off my chest.

I feel like this is a topic not very well talked about. Trying to get pregnant is hard but sometimes it can be even harder, especially when mental health issues are involved. I don’t think people like to talk about it because it’s very personal, but I’d like to share my very short experience with it.

Me and my partner have only been trying for 2 months and it’s been hard. I’ve been scared to take a test because I knew what would happen if I did.

I took it this morning.... negative. This crushed me. As soon as I seen that negative my depression started to get worse and because I had work today my anxiety about being depressed started to get worse. With my depression setting off my anxiety it then set off my BPD. Having to go into work and deal with customers is hard, but put that along with the state of my mental health and it’s been a hard day. Every time I seen or heard a child my heart hurt, and I was back in the loop of depression, anxiety, BPD. I started second guessing everything. Starting telling myself things no one should say about themselves. Nothing could pull me out of this loop, all day. I know things will get better and one day it will happen but I know until that point I will have to go through this spiral again and again.

I know people find it hard to open up and sometimes go through this by themselves, so for anyone out there who needs to vent or talk or anything, I’m here. We need to hold each other up in times of need, this app is the best thing I’ve ever found. I know I can say, ask or talk about anything and people will help.

Thank you glow community ❤️