I had to tell my now ex partner to leave again today. I’m so frustrated and disappointed.. if I’m honest I feel embarrassed too.

We’ve been together two years and then on and off for the last year. The last 6 though had been good, we’d moved back in together. He was great with his son, got a job and he was no longer using drugs (year clean). We’d started trying for another baby because again, we’d never been better. Looking forward to the future and we’d been planning all sorts; Christmas, birthdays, holidays.

The last week had been rocky, I know to some people smoking weed isn’t a problem. But for us that’s where the problem starts, spending beyond his means, then using other drugs, becoming reluctant to help with out with our child for simple things. He becomes lazy, complaining at how much money he has to give me (we split everything 50/50, had a two bedroom semi detached house and he pays only £300 a month. Rent and bills included and food etc)

I found out he recently started smoking weed again, taking too many of his prescription tablets (he’s on opiates and anti psychotics) so he was out of it. I confronted him and he threw his stupid vape at me screaming in denial.

He’a left now with all his stuff, I feel frustrated because I don’t understand how this has happened and why he’s made these choices again after doing so well, I’m embarrassed because how could I be so naive and fall into this situation again, but I’m sad because I do love him.

I have to put our son first and protect him, he might of only thrown a vape at me, but what’s next? Just because you’re stressed doesn’t mean you act out violently or neglect your son (son was crying whilst I was hanging out washing outside and instead of checking his nappy, if he needed a drink he was just going AHH AHH AHH back to him instead of a cuddle? Just STRANGE) I have to listen to the red flags and get out of the situation as much as it hurts now.

I’m 5dpo now… I don’t even know. What do I do if I’m pregnant again? It’s so much stress