Am I wrong?

Am I selfish?

It's 4 years and things are still the same from the beginning.

I've loved him more than I loved myself. Gave him everything. Financially and physically took good care of him.

Took care of our children's needs and wants and still is.

It's a rare thing that he buys a box of diapers or even wipes. Necessities- such as toiletries, clothes for our children, etc

Anything that is broken, I am the one who is always paying for it.

Anything really -- I may seem like I don't give him enough credit, because truthfully ... he doesn't deserve it.

I never cared that he smokes weed. But it's the fact that he spends hundreds every week. He seems to be able to afford that but never diapers or anything for the children or even me. I spend thousands of dollars spoiling him, taking him out to eat... but he never does it for me. Like, every small thing matters because I'm an appreciative person.

Never keeps the house clean, I'm just exhausted. And tired. And broken.

My question is, am I selfish for leaving him even though we have two kids together?

Because I've given him plenty of chances.

We are not even married - he's still married with his wife, whom he have two kids with... but doesn't take care of them.

He doesn't want to grow with me, it seems like he just wants to stay the same.

We have a car but it's barely hanging on.

We are renting a basement but we are supposed to leave soon.

So now, I'm going to be living with my sister until I find a place for the kids and I.

And he's not allowed to stay at my sister's, so he's gonna have to find a new place by himself. I'm worried about him but God, does he ever worry about the children and I?

He didn't even flinch when I told him that. He doesn't want to grow with me. So I got sick and tired of doing anything for him. In the end, I am finally separating with him but I know the kids will be confused and sad... I told him that he can still see them.

Am I selfish?

Or what is it that I'm feeling? Guilt? Because of the kids? I've stayed with him for way too long. I feel like I've wasted my life and my money.

I feel so tired and drained but I am supposed to be strong for my kids.....