I feel so off, last Saturday I took a test, I had some on an off symptoms but I take the test and it's positive, so I go and buy a $20 clear blue and it reads "pregnant 1-2" so I'm all excited and I let my husband know since we had been trying since we got married last year. I finally get ahold of him later that night and he's all happy and excited (it made his night cuz he was having a hard one with work) and I went ahead to bed and I laid there just being happy we finally did it. I wake up the next morning and I started with spotting which turned into bleeding and I had to take an advil for the pain, I told my husband and bless his sweet heart, he tells me it should be fine and that it happens an it happened before to someone he knows so I should be fine, but me I've lost my daughter previously with an ex when I was 22 weeks pregnant and I lost twins separately as well so I just felt and knew that was not the case.

I went in for blood work with the fertility clinic I use and they emailed me Thursday evening to tell me my HCG was at 13 and they'd like to see me for Monday to test again. I let my husband know all this and he goes on about "how great 13 is and it means there's hope and to not be negative" and I really love him and maybe that's his was of keeping me from spiraling and keeping me calm but I'm pretty sure that's not the case and I don't want to make him feel any less because him being that optimistic at least keeps me from crying and from being sad.