Depression

I've been going through depression for 2-3 years now and it sucks. It hits me the most at night, especially the nights when my boyfriend & I argue because he doesn't care anymore if we go to sleep mad or not (in a long distance relationship) I've had thoughts of suicide but never went through with it because I just got 2 puppies last year and I love them both to death. No matter how badly I want to kill myself, I just can't leave them behind. I love my boyfriend very much and he treats me well, but there's something about my dogs that's holding me back from it. 
​My boyfriend knows I'm going through depression but I don't like to talk to him about it too much because I know that nothing he can say or do will help me.
​I'm looking forward to my future & getting married & having kids, but at the same time, I hate life.